


"I need to tell you something."

by That_is_right



Series: The tales of non-binary Bucky [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Coming Out, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gender Identity, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Kissing, Nonbinary Bucky Barnes, Other, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers would never leave Bucky behind and that's the truth, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, endgame? who is she?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 07:10:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21011807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_is_right/pseuds/That_is_right
Summary: Bucky has been keeping the fact that they're non-binary to themselves, and decides to tell Steve. Steve is a complete sweetheart about it.





	"I need to tell you something."

**Author's Note:**

> I am non-binary. I love Bucky. Congrats Buck, I'm projecting onto you. I really want to make this into a series, but we'll see how we go. Please let me know what you think! 
> 
> Also, I wrote this all in one go without a lot of proofreading. We die like unbeta'd idiots. 
> 
> This is all going to be set in a universe where none of this Endgame nonsense happened, and Steve and Bucky get their happily ever after. BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY DESERVE.

Bucky sat at one end of the sofa, Steve at the other. Bucky watched quietly as Steve drew in his notebook. The only noise came from the scratching of the pencil, and the music playing gently through the speaker on the table. The morning sun bathed Steve in its golden light, bringing out the highlights in his hair. 

Steve was breathtaking. Bucky could hardly believe that this man, in all his beautiful glory, was all theirs. After everything they had been through. After everything they had done as the Winter Solider. They still got their happy ending. 

“What you thinking about, Buck?” Steve asked, not looking up from his drawing. 

“I need to tell you something,” Bucky said suddenly. It was as good a moment as any. The peace of the morning set them at ease, melting away some of their anxiety. 

See, Bucky had a bit of a secret. They’d had this secret for a while, if their memories were correct. And they’d gotten tired of holding onto it alone. 

Bucky wasn’t a man. Bucky wasn’t a woman. They were just... Bucky. They didn’t really have the words to explain it. They didn’t feel the need to force themselves into a box. They felt like they were missing out on things when they tried to be the man the world saw them as. And yet, trying to be a woman didn’t feel much better. Neither fit quite right. 

Then, they heard about people using ‘they/them’ pronouns to refer to themselves, and something clicked. Bucky had never realised it was an option to be neither a man or a woman. After being freed from the programming of the Winter Solider, they spent months learning what it meant to be Bucky again. And what it meant to be neither a man or a woman. 

It was freeing. 

Of course, whenever they heard someone refer to them as ‘he’, they were brought crashing back down to earth pretty quickly. It didn’t make them angry, it wasn’t as though any of their friends knew any better. Bucky knew that nothing would change unless they came out and told everyone. Which, in itself, was a terrifying concept. 

Especially when they thought about telling Steve. 

Nothing scared Bucky like the thought of losing Steve. Sure, Steve hated bullies and was a very vocal supporter of the LGBT community (which Bucky was sure had given Pepper and their PR managers plenty of migraines over the years). But supporting something, in theory, was a lot different to living with it. To being in a relationship with it. 

And keeping all this from Steve was really starting to wear away at Bucky. 

As they watched Steve sitting in the morning light, running a pencil over the pages of his notebook, Bucky felt strangely optimistic. This was Steve they were talking about. Steve wouldn’t be angry. Steve hadn’t been angry at them over anything they’d done as the Winter Soldier. If Steve could look past decades of murder, this should be no issue. 

Or at least, Bucky desperately hoped so. 

Steve seemed to sense this was something important. He’d always had a good feel for that, especially when it came to Bucky. He set down his notebook and pencil. “I’m all ears.” 

“It’s... kind of weird,” Bucky hesitated. 

“Buck, we’re kind of weird,” Steve smiled. “We shouldn’t exist, but here we are. I’m sure it can’t be any stranger than anything else in our lives.” 

Bucky took a deep breath. 

“I don’t feel like a man,” they said before they could chicken out. 

“Oh.” 

“It’s... not a new thing, either,” Bucky continued, not giving Steve a chance to say anything. “I’m still a bit scrambled, so sometimes it’s hard to remember, but I think I felt like this before the war too. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now.” 

“Oh Buck, come here,” Steve said. He reached for them. Bucky scooted closer to Steve on the sofa and leaned heavily against him, feeling much more secure in Steve’s warm embrace. “You know you don’t ever have to tell me anything until you’re ready. You don’t need to apologise for taking time to figure things out.”

“So... you’re not mad?” Bucky asked, cautiously optimistic.

“Buck, I love you. I’ve loved you since I first knew what that meant. You’re my Bucky, no matter what. Unless you don’t want to be called Bucky anymore? I am 100% on board with whatever you pick, sweetheart.” Steve said, and Bucky could have cried tears of joy. 

“No, no I still like Bucky. Bucky is still good.” 

“Do you want me to use different pronouns? She and her?” 

“Uh,” Bucky said, eloquently. This wasn’t the response they had been expecting, not by a long shot. Sure, they didn’t think Steve would kick them to the curb, but they were prepared for confusion. Not this immediate, effortless acceptance.

“I did a bunch of reading back when I first discovered Google and was still trying to figure out whether I was gay or not, before I realised I was bi. Did you know there are a whole bunch of genders now? That you can be more than a man or a woman? It’s so interesting, can you imagine what that must be like?” Steve asked, excitement brimming in his eyes before he stopped suddenly. “Oh shit, Buck, I’m sorry, I got way ahead of myself there, I’m sorry. This is about you, not some stuff I googled back when I woke up, I’m sorry. I won’t interrupt anymore.”

“Hey, Stevie, it’s okay,” Bucky smiled, reaching up to run their fingers through Steve’s unruly blond hair. “It’s actually kind of lucky you’d read all that stuff, because I don’t exactly feel like a woman, either.” 

“Oh. Oh!” Steve said. 

“Yeah,” Bucky said, suddenly nervous again. “I uh, I’ve been using ‘they/them’ in my head for me. Like ‘that’s Bucky, they’ve got amazing hair’.” 

“Or ‘that’s Bucky and their amazing boyfriend Steve’,” Steve teased. 

“Punk.”

“Jerk.” 

They both burst out laughing at that. 

“So... this is all fine?” Bucky slowly, once they had finished. 

“Yeah, Buck, this is all 100% fine,” Steve smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of their head. “After all, I’m with you—” 

“—Till the end of the line.” 

“And this ain’t the end of the line. Not even close.” 

Bucky and Steve grinned at each other for a moment, and Bucky was reminded just why they loved this man.

“I love you, Stevie. So, so much.”

“I love you too, Buck. I’m just sorry I made you feel like you had to hide this from me.” Steve hugged Bucky tightly against him. 

“No, it wasn’t that. It’s just... I haven’t ever told anyone this out loud before. It took me forever to admit it to myself, let alone be ready to talk to anyone else. I haven’t even really told my therapist. We’ve skirted around it a bit, but I always change the subject. I might tell her about it, next time I see her.”

“I think that would be a good idea, Buck,” Steve said. “Also, I am on board with wherever you want to go from here, but I’m probably going to ask a lot of dumb questions. I don’t want to get anything wrong.”

“Can we just keep this between us for now? I want a little bit of time to think about how I’m going to tell the others.” 

“Whatever you need, Buck. Do you still want me to use ‘they’ for you around the rest of the team?” Steve asked. 

“Um. I don’t know? Maybe not right away? That’ll give me away, won’t it?” Bucky realised. 

“We could just tell them you’re using ‘they/them’ now, and then you can explain later when you feel like it,” Steve suggested. “Or I could just use 'them' around our floor, when it’s just us, if you’re not ready for everyone to know.”

“No, I think I want to use my new pronouns with everyone from now,” Bucky said. “If that’s okay?”

Steve pressed a gentle kiss to Bucky’s forehead. “Of course it’s okay, Buck. If anyone has anything to say about it, I’ll fight them.”

“There’s my scrappy punk,” Bucky laughed. They couldn’t quite believe how well this conversation had gone. They could almost feel the physical weight that had been lifted from their shoulders. If Steve hadn’t been holding them so tightly, they seriously might have floated up and hit the ceiling. 

“I’d fight the world for you, Buck,” Steve said, seriously. 

“I know you would. I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

Bucky leaned up to kiss Steve again, smiling widely. They were both smiling so much that their teeth clacked together, and they burst out laughing. They pressed kisses to each other’s lips between bouts of laughter, and Bucky had never before felt so glad to have made their way back to Steve. 

No matter what else happened, they had each other. And as long as Bucky could hold Steve in their arms at the end of the day, that was enough for them. 


End file.
